2 days of Trivial Pursuit...
Morning of Taboo...
I took some time out of my busy schedule this week to clean out my email inbox, trash, sent and other random folders hiding cute emails I have been keeping since high school.
From my inbox, which was cleaned out before deploying, had 2 emails from 2008... A link to a TV show's free Japanese online viewing page, and a quote from "Into the Wild":
When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines on you.
Since I don't remember the lst time I saw that TV show I've obviously lost interest in it... It was an easy decision to delete. The quote though, at some point obviously peaked my interest, or I would not have emailed it to myself. At 2 a.m.
Perhaps then I knew I needed to work on forgiveness, and love. Maybe I was entranced by someone who through the whole movie doesn't come across as a Believer in God would say something like that. Either way, I've deleted the email and posted it here. It's not really gone! Just more organized in my cyber life. There if I need it.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Posts
There have been so many times that I have tried to post and either didn't have internet, or was kicked off. It's infuriating.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Camp Echo
The world is so funny sometimes.
I have been feeling bad about my life, and being in the exact same place I was 5 years ago. Okay, not stuck, jobless, living with Mom and Dad after graduating college "same place," but more spiritually and emotionally and single, distant from friends and feeling alone.
See, my brother and sister-in-law just had their first baby. I am so excited for them! I have always wanted to spoil a niece more than anything else. I have an awesome Aunt, and I want her to have one too. Not to mention, Joelle is about the cutest baby I have seen pictures of, and has the cutest little cry (Mom sent a clip to email from her cell). But all this made me get on Facebook (number one reason I hate it) and look through my good friends and see who was married, who had kids... I didn't stop my little torture there, I went on to see which acquaintances had families, or at the very least, a loved one.
Yeah, there's three of us who don't. One lives in Indiana, one in Tennessee, and one currently in Iraq, normally in Kansas, and ultimately in New York.
It's more than not having a man in my life, or children... it's knowing that I don't have a place to call my own, a place to keep my piano, a garage for my own Harley, a reason to own a washer and dryer, and the fact that I just don't have any responsibilities outside work. You may think that it's great and I should be enjoying it (and I do enjoy it), but paying an electric bill or mowing your yard really makes a person feel like she has made it to adulthood, and isn't just wasting her life.
So that's what I did while I had some free time in Iraq. We went to FOB Echo for Memorial Day Weekend. It was fantastic. I love being able to play, and I love the brass quintet I am in. We're quirky. I love our quirks. I love being a part of a ceremony that honors my fallen Comrades; I love tearing up when I didn't even know these men. And I love the traveling, and the much-needed down time. I love Echo. I just enjoy being there.
But it means I have time.
And when I have time I get down on myself. I think about all my flaws. I think about all the things in my life I regret. I think about how I've failed at so many things, let people down... How fat I am.
Thankfully something usually snaps me out of my Pity Party before too much harm is done.
Today, it was seeing an old friend's profile picture on a real friend's Facebook site. I was good friends with this girl throughout college, but when I called her to tell her I was joining the Army she laughed. Then she told her mom (they were out shopping together) and she laughed too. Well, I haven't talked to her since, and I never accepted her request to be friends on FB. I had to investigate. I knew she'd gotten married to a high school sweetheart, but couldn't believe they'd ever have kids.
They do! A little boy.
He's cute.
But man, am I ever so happy I don't have kids. And I am so happy I don't have to worry about a man leaving the toilet seat up, drooling on my 800-count $200 sheets, driving my car and leaving the gas low, making me keep dinner warm to fit into his schedule (not mine)... Gosh. I am just not cut out for marriage. And I am so happy I don't have to worry about it.
I'm so lucky!
Back to the weekend highlights:
-Uno at the Basrah Terminal (our tradition)
-waiting 13 hours at the Adder Terminal and getting to fly straight to Echo the next day (direct flights are worth a wait)
-huge room to myself at Echo, including a shower (I may have had to use a porta-potty, but a good trade-off for privacy)
-SSG Miles played Taps so well I choked up
-Playing in the DFAC ensured we had an audience for our concert, and we didn't have to make introductions
-A mechanical issue delayed our scheduled flight (including overnight stop at Adder to connect to 2nd day's flight), but allowed us to jump on a couple Blackhawks for a direct flight to Basrah
I do enjoy this job, and I am going to miss it when we aren't here anymore.
I have been feeling bad about my life, and being in the exact same place I was 5 years ago. Okay, not stuck, jobless, living with Mom and Dad after graduating college "same place," but more spiritually and emotionally and single, distant from friends and feeling alone.
See, my brother and sister-in-law just had their first baby. I am so excited for them! I have always wanted to spoil a niece more than anything else. I have an awesome Aunt, and I want her to have one too. Not to mention, Joelle is about the cutest baby I have seen pictures of, and has the cutest little cry (Mom sent a clip to email from her cell). But all this made me get on Facebook (number one reason I hate it) and look through my good friends and see who was married, who had kids... I didn't stop my little torture there, I went on to see which acquaintances had families, or at the very least, a loved one.
Yeah, there's three of us who don't. One lives in Indiana, one in Tennessee, and one currently in Iraq, normally in Kansas, and ultimately in New York.
It's more than not having a man in my life, or children... it's knowing that I don't have a place to call my own, a place to keep my piano, a garage for my own Harley, a reason to own a washer and dryer, and the fact that I just don't have any responsibilities outside work. You may think that it's great and I should be enjoying it (and I do enjoy it), but paying an electric bill or mowing your yard really makes a person feel like she has made it to adulthood, and isn't just wasting her life.
So that's what I did while I had some free time in Iraq. We went to FOB Echo for Memorial Day Weekend. It was fantastic. I love being able to play, and I love the brass quintet I am in. We're quirky. I love our quirks. I love being a part of a ceremony that honors my fallen Comrades; I love tearing up when I didn't even know these men. And I love the traveling, and the much-needed down time. I love Echo. I just enjoy being there.
But it means I have time.
And when I have time I get down on myself. I think about all my flaws. I think about all the things in my life I regret. I think about how I've failed at so many things, let people down... How fat I am.
Thankfully something usually snaps me out of my Pity Party before too much harm is done.
Today, it was seeing an old friend's profile picture on a real friend's Facebook site. I was good friends with this girl throughout college, but when I called her to tell her I was joining the Army she laughed. Then she told her mom (they were out shopping together) and she laughed too. Well, I haven't talked to her since, and I never accepted her request to be friends on FB. I had to investigate. I knew she'd gotten married to a high school sweetheart, but couldn't believe they'd ever have kids.
They do! A little boy.
He's cute.
But man, am I ever so happy I don't have kids. And I am so happy I don't have to worry about a man leaving the toilet seat up, drooling on my 800-count $200 sheets, driving my car and leaving the gas low, making me keep dinner warm to fit into his schedule (not mine)... Gosh. I am just not cut out for marriage. And I am so happy I don't have to worry about it.
I'm so lucky!
Back to the weekend highlights:
-Uno at the Basrah Terminal (our tradition)
-waiting 13 hours at the Adder Terminal and getting to fly straight to Echo the next day (direct flights are worth a wait)
-huge room to myself at Echo, including a shower (I may have had to use a porta-potty, but a good trade-off for privacy)
-SSG Miles played Taps so well I choked up
-Playing in the DFAC ensured we had an audience for our concert, and we didn't have to make introductions
-A mechanical issue delayed our scheduled flight (including overnight stop at Adder to connect to 2nd day's flight), but allowed us to jump on a couple Blackhawks for a direct flight to Basrah
I do enjoy this job, and I am going to miss it when we aren't here anymore.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Man I am pooped.
Long days are starting to wear us all down over here... Which I guess is good in a way, we are keeping busy and that makes the time go by.
I tried to cam with my dad yesterday, it was our second attempt. I saw him for about a minute, then everything froze and I was booted offline. The quality was so bad he looked like a ghost. We still don't have the sound bugs worked out. It was really exciting to be able to see him, or to know that he was on the other side of the computer screen somewhere.
I spent the evening shooting a long bow at a dog. With the Basrah Bow Club. It's really different than what I remember from high school. And the same. Maybe it's just the right way now, and high school wasn't the right way, or I remember wrong. I know Kelsey Hanno and Amy Gehen were in my gym class though. And I liked it. I liked it today too.
Had a horrible jambalaya for dinner. I am fairly certain it came from a package of frozen foods and was just reheated. Anyway, I'm ready for a trip to Louisiana for some good food. Mmm.
Long days are starting to wear us all down over here... Which I guess is good in a way, we are keeping busy and that makes the time go by.
I tried to cam with my dad yesterday, it was our second attempt. I saw him for about a minute, then everything froze and I was booted offline. The quality was so bad he looked like a ghost. We still don't have the sound bugs worked out. It was really exciting to be able to see him, or to know that he was on the other side of the computer screen somewhere.
I spent the evening shooting a long bow at a dog. With the Basrah Bow Club. It's really different than what I remember from high school. And the same. Maybe it's just the right way now, and high school wasn't the right way, or I remember wrong. I know Kelsey Hanno and Amy Gehen were in my gym class though. And I liked it. I liked it today too.
Had a horrible jambalaya for dinner. I am fairly certain it came from a package of frozen foods and was just reheated. Anyway, I'm ready for a trip to Louisiana for some good food. Mmm.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Pants
Over the weekend The Cantigny Brass went to Ali Base for a TOA/Change of Command ceremony for the Air Force. We sat outside. We played well. It was less than an hour. There was cake. It was good. I think there are definitely some perks to being in the Air Force, but I'm pretty proud of the Army, especially the 1st ID Band.
Except my pants... That part of the weekend didn't go so well, and I am not too proud of them. My flap ripped off, you know, the re-enforced part on the tush. The thread-bear section by my back pocket finally ripped through too. At least we were seated and I didn't have to look like a ragamuffin.
I've had my fill of pizza for awhile too.
I can't wait to get on a Blackhawk and drop 100 feet without warning again. If I end up in the reserves, I think I am going to look into that as an MOS change... Or not. It might take all the novelty out if I do it as a job, like ceremonies in the bandfield.
I am happy to report my smaller towel and travel toiletry bags and Bug-Out backpack were perfect. If only they'd let Chief out more often, and for longer periods of time.
Yankees are up 2-0. Good time for bed. :)
Except my pants... That part of the weekend didn't go so well, and I am not too proud of them. My flap ripped off, you know, the re-enforced part on the tush. The thread-bear section by my back pocket finally ripped through too. At least we were seated and I didn't have to look like a ragamuffin.
I've had my fill of pizza for awhile too.
I can't wait to get on a Blackhawk and drop 100 feet without warning again. If I end up in the reserves, I think I am going to look into that as an MOS change... Or not. It might take all the novelty out if I do it as a job, like ceremonies in the bandfield.
I am happy to report my smaller towel and travel toiletry bags and Bug-Out backpack were perfect. If only they'd let Chief out more often, and for longer periods of time.
Yankees are up 2-0. Good time for bed. :)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Easter at Echo
Emily and I went out to have fun taking pictures at Camp Echo. Since there wasn't a third party to capture both of us in one picture with objects of interest, we used the split screen setting. :) It kinda made it more fun.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)